On May 1st at 1:18 AM this sweet girl entered the world. exactly 7 days past due, which seemed like an ETERNITY. I was so impatient and excited for her to come that by the 2nd day upon awaiting her arrival, I had a pregnancy zone done on my feet. By the 4th day I had my membranes stripped, which is something I never imagined I would do. By the 6th day, I had my membranes stripped AGAIN, something I REALLY never imagined I would do, and then finally 10 hours later there she was, in all her glory, tiny and wrinkled with that newborn breath- just what you would imagine perfectly new pink insides to smell like: a warm, sweetened, milk tainted version of nothing. perfection.
That night she slept on my chest and didn't wake up once. She has such a calm and peaceful presence about her, not to mention a perfectly shaped head, as noted by all the nurses and midwives. The name Eliza which means "joyful" is beyond fitting, which is a good thing because we had no backups. We chose "May" for her middle name because she was born in the wee hours of May 1st. Spring and all it represents is such a beautiful time to have a baby.
Big sister Amelia marched through the doors with my Dad and Patrick the next day. She knew exactly what to do. She requested to get up on the bed, and shimmied her way in between us. We propped her up against the pillow and let her hold the baby. She carefully patted her head, then squished her cheeks against Eliza's and sang her "somewhere over the rainbow". Amelia had been waiting for this day a LONG time. She loves Eliza to pieces- sometimes a little too much. We are working on that. It is obvious Amelia was destined to be a big sister.
I know everyone says it, but I really wasn't sure how it would feel, or if it would even be possible to love another baby as much as Amelia. The second I laid eyes Eliza the deal was sealed. I think we are capable of giving and having a lot more love than we will ever realize- having children has opened that door a little bit more for me.
My cousin Eliza (we stole her name) who is currently on a mission in Texas, said it best: "We should get up in the morning, make ourselves look nice, look in the mirror once and get going. That's it. After that one look in the mirror, it is not about ME anymore. It is about THEM, it is about YOU, out there...I promise, that it is through service, through loving others and forgetting ourselves that we are truly happy. The happiness IS there. It always is. Grow that light in others, and that light will reflect back into you."
I've thought about this message over and over the last month. Since I've been home with my both my girls I've had some really hard days. I've cried more than once, and felt like I've given every ounce of myself. I know it won't always be like this. I know they won't always need me so much. It really ends up being a bitter sweet feeling when I think about that.
Nothing else could teach me how to love more than being a mom to these girls. When I think about it in that perspective, they assist me more than I will ever assist them.
Welcome to the world sweet Eliza May!!! We love you.